WellsWooster’s Weblog

Warning. This is a rant I’ve been holding off on for a long time.

Aah… Vacation. Departing the homestead Saturday morning, May 24, wouldn’t be notable except for one thing. How nice it was to be leaving. The street we live on in Grand Rapids is a perfect example of why one should be unhappy paying taxes. Whether it’s property tax, income tax, or gas tax (which is supposed to be for roads).

Our street was blessed with speed bumps a few years ago as traffic “calmers” in the residential area. Residents by and large supported the idea. However, the placement of one such “feature” was not expected to be directly in front of our house. Now we are jarred by “bouncing” vehicles that speed over the bump. Worse are the trucks with trailers of loose items that bounce and crash around themselves. Then there are the drivers that do slow down for the expected jar, then speed up, with engine roaring making a different sort of noise – but more noise.

For an unknown reason, some of the speed bumps have bright yellow warning signs that read “Speed Bump” and others are labeled “Speed Hump.” I’m waiting for the version that says “Speed Jump” to appear. There is one such feature on a nearby street that seems designed to see how high one can jump by speeding up. Regardless, each speed bump now comes with a sign which significantly detracts visually from our historic, picturesque neighborhood.

There really wasn’t a need to add the traffic controllers in the first place. Because of the Michigan winters and the lack of public funds (tax money) to keep streets in drivable condition, our street already featured speed control in the form of an incredibly rough road! It’s gotten worse and worse as the attempts to patch the surface produce new irregularities in the surface which has become unmanageable. Going the speed limit is not an option on at least a mile on our street. Exceeding the speed limit (25 mph) is basically suspension suicide.

Then comes something I’ve yet to comprehend the purpose. About three weeks ago, I spotted city crews taking out manhole covers and the surrounding “collars” from a half mile section of our street. Hope springs eternal. Were they preparing for a resurfacing? It appeared so. They left the large round holes filled with gravel in what my logical mind viewed as a temporary measure until the full job could be completed. In the weeks that have passed, the gravel has been disappearing – by erosion when it rains and by bits of rock bouncing out as normal traffic passes unable to avoid the craters. I’m sure the public funds are at fault here as the dollars must have run out just as the crews were going to begin the resurfacing. I could think of no other explanation!

Then I figured it out. As I was following two other cars at 10 MPH, observing their braking and swerving, and finding myself reacting likewise to straddle or otherwise avoid new unexpected holes, an epiphany! It’s a publicly funded ROAD RALLY course in my very own neighborhood! All I can say is AWESOME! Genius! Simply brilliant.